I just woke up from a 20 hour nap!

It is not very often that I am at a loss for words. Especially when writing, I can always come up with something. After this past week I feel like I have so much to say and no way to say it.

Last Sunday afternoon, Luke and I loaded up 11 Rock Island youth kids in the van and headed to Stand Up camp, which is an inner-city camp put on by YFC. We had no idea what to expect, so Luke and I each packed our entire closets knowing that the RI kids would not possibly pack everything they needed. Halfway through the week the entire group was clothed by Luke and I's wardrobe. Ha.

One thing I learned this week is that this camp is not for the faint of heart. Most nights we were up playing "night games" (dodgeball, glow-in-the-dark ultimate frisbee, glowstick tennis) until 1 or 2 in the morning. I didn't go to bed before 3 the entire week and most night it was closer to 4. So to say I was sleep deprived when I got home yesterday would be an understatement, I was a zombie.

We had some slight behavioral problems, but for the most part I was very proud of the way our kids conducted themselves. They had great attitudes and I can definitely say that we will have 11 new leaders in our Rock Island program for the summer. As most people know, I'm a story-teller and I really could tell 100 stories from this week, but I will just share one small one and save the rest for future blogs.

When we pulled up to camp the first day we immediately noticed we were a little different. 3 of our boys were the only mexicans at a primarily black camp. They noticed this also and wanted to turn around and go home, but we encouraged them to give it a shot.. For most of our kids, this was their first time to be away from home for any amount of time, so we spent alot of time combatting home-sickness. So on Tuesday night I wasn't shocked to look up and see one of our girls standing by herself with big tears streaming down her face. I sat down with her for a while and through sobs she began to tell me how she didn't belong, she was home-sick and felt like she didn't fit in. She is a black girl and I begin to tell her the story of our 3 mexican boys and how they were in the minority but tried hard to be involved in everything, and how if they could do it, she could try also. As I was telling her this those same 3 boys came over to us, they had no idea why she was upset and looked very concerned. They sat down next to us and put their arms around her and asked her if she was okay, they told her if she needed anything to let them know and that she is their family. After a few tears they finally got her to start laughing and the 4 walked off together. As I saw them walk off I was certain of one thing, God sent those boys over there. The kids in the neighborhood are really coming together as a family to watch out for each other and comfort each other when they are sad.

I have been waiting for years to see the day our Rock Island kids would step across racial lines and embrace one another as family. I think it's beginning.

Greetings from Florida.

I'm creating the ultimate work-a-holic sin. I'm blogging from vacation. Yikes! Right now I'm in Destin, Florida with my family. I'm blogging because I feel the need to write down one of the thoughts I've had while I've been away from work this week. There is something about the beach that is calming and a great place to think. I've spent alot of time out on the balcony of our condo staring at the waves, praying and thinking about stuff.

I have had one major thought that has overwhelmed me this week. I am blessed beyond belief. I am so lucky to have a family that can afford to spend a week in a place this beautiful. The very first day we were here I was on the balcony looking out at the white sand and waves and I thought, "I doubt the kids/youth at Cross & Crown will ever get the opportunity to see or do something like this". I thought about all the places I've been and things I've experienced in my short 23 years... I have probably experienced more in this past year than most of them will in a lifetime.

For those who know me, I'm a firm believer in experiencing life. I will pretty much try anything once. I have had the opportunity to serve in mission fields all over the world, study abroad in South America in college and vacation all over the US with my family. I say all this to say, I feel like so many of the youth at Rock Island are living in a prison. I see a quality of adventure in many of them and also many of them are big dreamers. The thing is, they never actually think their dreams are possible. They have the mindset that they will never get out of Oklahoma or get to travel. They don't have the money or the people to go with.

It is my sense of adventure that has made me come to a decision this week. I want to start focusing on letting the kids EXPERIENCE life. If they haven't been to the zoo, they should go. If they've never been on a boat, they should ride on one. If they've never seen the ocean, road trip to Galveston, ha! But, I'm serious. I want these kids to have the opportunities I have. I tend to get carried away in ministry. I dream big dreams that aren't really possible. I may not get to bring every kid to Destin with me next time I come, but I want to give them a chance to see and do things they didnt think were possible.

Like I always say in my blogs, some may think I'm crazy, and I am a little bit, but it also never hurt anyone to dream a little.

I'm ready for camp and I managed to fit everything I need in a shoe box.

I woke up this morning and went in to complete panic. My calendar for the next two weeks is PACKED and I am a little behind. I leave early Friday morning for a vacation to Florida with my family. The part that made me panic is the fact that the day I get back is the day I leave for inner-city camp with 15 of our middle school/high school kids. This is when I went in to "mommy mode".

I don't have kids and don't expect to for a very long time, but despite this fact, I do in fact have a "mommy mode". After arriving at work I quickly pulled out the packing list for camp and discovered two things. One, I had yet to pack any of the things on the list for myself and two, our kids will inevitably show up ready to go with one pair of underwear, the clothes on their back, quite possibly a toothbrush and maybe a pillow. I have this vision that they will show up with everything packed into a shoebox.

I spent the day digging around at Cross & Crown for things that might help them fill the required packing list. I got a hold of all the bathroom items and have assigned the interns to create "hygiene goody bags". Now comes the big task. Tomorrow is bargain shopping day for me. Every child is required to bring one bath towel, one beach towel, and bedding. Most of the kids share a bed with 1 or 2 of their siblings, therefore bedding would be depriving their other siblings. I'm going to hit up the dollar store and see what I can find in the way of towels, but I am soliciting the blogging community for help in the bedding area. Bedding is expensive and if everyone has a linen closet like mine (I have 3 different sets of 'college sheets'), then it shouldn't be a problem coming up with a few old, clean sets of twin sheets and blankets. So if you might be able to come up with something to help, shoot me an email (I'll check on vacation) or drop them off at the mission and notify Ron or Luke that they are for camp bedding.

Pray for our group as we head to camp. Not a single one of our kids has been to an overnight camp and they are a little nervous. Pray that they will feel like they fit in and that God would move within our group and create unity.

I love enchiladas... and the people that make them.

Last Thursday night was awesome. One of the moms of our kids, Martha Estrada, decided to cook dinner for our Thursday night Rock Island time. I took her to Buy For Less at 5 to buy all the supplies. By 6 we were hard at work in the kitchen. She taught me how to make mexican rice and enchiladas. 3 hours later, at 9, the meal was ready. Mexican rice, mexican potatoes, cheese enchiladas and fried chicken legs. It was so yummy!

My favorite part of the evening was spending time in the kitchen with beautiful Martha and her sister Estela. They were so excited to show us their talent and feel like they were giving back to their church family. We laughed and cried and shared a meal together. A 26 year old mother of three who doesn't speak english and a 30 year old mother of 4 who doesn't speak english or read are some of my best friends and I love it! I think Jesus would be close friends with these women.

My fear.

This weekend has been filled with lots of praying and lots of worrying for me. God has brought me to a point where I feel completely helpless and must call on Him to fix it all! For those of you who haven't been keeping up with the news....this past week Oklahoma passed the "most sweeping immigration legislation" in the US. It basically pledges to deport all illegals and keep them from getting any public or private assistance such as soup kitchens or clothing stores. To some extent it even prevents churches from helping illegals in any way. I'm very upset about it. To put it bluntly, as I always do, it makes me mad that the suits at the capitol pass a law without every seeing the people that it affects. If they had to look in the faces of the children whose parents are being deported, they might think differently.

I have gotten a lot of questions this week from people who are wondering how this bill (House Bill 1804) is going to affect us. The truth is, I don't have a clue. But I do have a fear. My fear is that people will be getting deported by the dozens. That in itself will be a tragedy, but what some people don't know is that the majority of the kids in our neighborhood were born here in the US and are citizens. However, their parents are not and came here illegally as many as 20 years ago. These families will be faced with a tough issue. Take their kids back to Mexico with them where there is no education or health care, or leave their children here with neighbors and friends. Perhaps the issue that keeps me up at night is the fact that at the end of this summer there could be dozens of children abandoned in the US with the hopes of making their family proud someday or maybe even finish their education and make enough money to send back to Mexico for their relatives. Where will these kids go? Who will they stay with? Who will take pictures of them on prom night or sit in the crowd and cheer as they walk across the stage to receive their diploma?

In James chapter 1 we are called to take care of widows and orphans. Because of that call I know that Cross & Crown has now entered into a new realm of ministry that we have no clue about. But if God leads us there, He will provide the rest. I may be 23 and single, but I'm not opposed to having a few kids by myself if I'm called to do so. Some may call me crazy, but I'm sure people once thought the apostles were crazy. I ask for everyone to pray for the orphans I fear will come from this HEARTLESS law. Pray for Ron, Luke and I as we go into some 50-60 homes in the next few weeks and reassure these terrified families that their children will never go hungry or be without a home.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -James 1:27

Viva la Mexico!

For those of you keeping up with the Osvaldo story, he called and checked in this week. This is the 4th time he's called since his family was deported to Mexico at the beginning of March. Everytime I pick up my phone and hear his voice I get a huge lump in my throat. Usually after I hang up the phone I get teared up. I think it's because I feel so helpless. It is a constant reminder that in the big scheme of things I can do nothing physically, BUT I can call upon the Lord on Osvaldo's behalf.. which is the most important.

His voice sounded weary. He is living in Durango with his mom and 3 younger siblings, one of which is a newborn. He has to be the man of the family because his dad is here in the states making money to send home. I asked him if he is happy. He didn't say much, I get the impression he isn't. They are still waiting for the date of his mom's hearing. I feel like he's losing some of the hope he had in the beginning.

The only thing keeping me from driving down to Mexico on the weekends is the fact that there is no male crazy enough to go with me. Apparently it's not a good idea for a single female to drive several hours across the Mexican border on her own. Ha. So... I have come up with a new plan. Or rather a dream. If Osvaldos' family is still in Mexico on September 13, his birthday, I am packing my things along with Luke and Ron and we are taking a road trip. Osvaldo has never seen the beach and Mazatlan is not far from Durango. So I'm starting my dreaming now. We are going to take Osvaldo and his little siblings to the beach for his 15th birthday. Some may say I'm completely out of my mind... just wait and see. In the mean time I ask that everyone pray for the Hernandez family by name. Ask for a miracle on their behalf.

Maria (mom)
Osvaldo (14 years old)
Lorena (9 y.o)
Jose Javier (4 y.o)
Ezekiel (6 months)

My Jesus

I don't even know what to say about the words to this song. I have probably cried over them 10 times this week. Just read every single word and you will understand.


My Jesus
by Todd Agnew

Which Jesus do you follow,
Which Jesus do you serve
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ,
Why do you look so much like the world

Cause My Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars,
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sands

My Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars,
He loved the poor and accosted the rich,
So which one do you want to be

Who is this that You follow,
This picture of the American dream,
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side,
Or fall down and worship at His holy feet
holy
Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion,
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins,

But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part,
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

My Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of
these,
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable,
So which one do you want to be,
Cause
My Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet,
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
And,
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus
I want to be like my Jesus

Not a posterchild for American prosperity,
but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus
but I'm not sure what that means to be like
You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You,
love like You but then
You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I wanna be like you Jesus
I wanna be Like my Jesus