It's been a while

I haven't blogged in 9 months. I woke up early this morning with a fire under me that I needed to get back in to it. It is a good way to chronicle the journey that the Lord is taking me on. I'm sure no one will read this because they have quit checking to see when I'll blog next.

To tell you the truth, I have no idea what to say. A year ago I was working in the streets of Oklahoma City passionately trying to lead lost souls to the Lord and now I work an 8-5 job on a computer all day. How did I get from there to here? Well for starters, at some point I realized I had a mortgage to pay and debt up to my ears. I do love the job I do now. I work for the Oklahoma Restaurant Association. Ironically, the day I showed up to the interview back in March I realized that my office building is directly across the street from Presbyterian Urban Mission. Not a coincidence, I think. I regularly look out the window and see Cross & Crown regulars going in their front door. Instinctively I want to run out the door and chat it up and pray with them since I know they don't do that there. But I just sit behind my desk and type away.

About 3 months ago my friend Doug (who also used to work at the Mission) invited me to church at Frontline OKC. I went because I had been church hunting and decided to give it a shot. All I have to say is, "they get it". They get it so well that I still feel uncomfortable every time I walk in the door. The pastor, Josh Kouri, always steps on my toes and confuses me and gets me fired up. I LOVE IT! When I'm comfortable in church that means I'm not pushing myself, I'm being complacent in my faith, and I'm not actively seeking God's opportunities for me. I'm excited about the future of Frontline even though I have no clue what that looks like. The Lord has told me I'm supposed to be there.

I still often talk to the kids in the old Cross & Crown "hood". I talk to them on the phone alot and I often go down there and just hang out in the yards. They are still my family and they all know that I love them very much.

Ok... now that I have updated the blog on "present day Chandy" I will just share God stories. I promise I won't blog again about what I'm doing. That is completely uninteresting.

The Southside

Just an update.... I have been praying for direction from the Lord for 2 months now. I was convinced that I didn't want to go right back in to ministry. But God has other plans.

I am soooo human and sooo stupid sometimes. Let me tell you what my thinking has been until the past week. I have been thinking.... "I'm a young, single, female and I need to get a really good paying job. Who cares if I like it. I can suck it up and do it because I need to be a big girl and make money and take care of myself." That was the worldy side of me. But God is bigger than the world and his plans are much greater than mine.

So I have been thrown into this amazing opportunity to work with inner city kids. (Imagine that?!?!) I'm working for a ministry called Youth for Christ. They have such an amazing vision for the youth of the city and I'm blessed to be a part of it. My assignment is Jefferson Middle School on the Southside. I hadn't ever spent much time on the Southside of the city but it is DIFFERENT than the neighborhood around Cross & Crown. I still love it though. It's about 90 percent Hispanic. Basically I go to the school once a week and run a club where kids come in and we share the gospel and speak for about 15 minutes and then the kids pray together and eat. It's pretty amazing that can go on in a public school. I think the best part is having the kids lead prayers in front of their peers. There have been some really powerful things prayed for in that time.

One last thing... I went to the most awesome church this past Sunday on SW 44th and Independence. It's called La Rocha. It's a completely bilingual congregation. The entire service from worship to preaching is in both Spanish and English and the people are amazing. So kind. It's a true community church. I just couldn't help thinking while I sat in the pew that they are doing church the way it should be. I was very blessed.

There are going to be some good stories coming up and I can't wait....God is doing a great work on the Southside.

Update

I have dreams of returning to blogging when I have more stories to share. So I'm not going to abandon my blog just yet.

The past few weeks have been interesting. I've been on the job search like crazy and haven't had any luck. It started out as a fun search to see what I wanted to be when I grow up. Now it's gotten to the point to where I am just wondering when I might see a paycheck in the future. I've come to realize that a job search isn't about looking on monster.com or sending your resume in to headhunters. It's all about who you know. Anyone got any ideas?!?!

I can't stay away from the kids. Sunday nights at Cross & Crown have started back so I do go to the worship service. Took a couple of kiddos to go see High School Musical on Ice. Had dinner at some houses of neighborhood families. Yesterday took a kid shopping that was embarrassed to go to school cause nothing fit. I talk to a lot of them on the phone. I'm so lucky that I still get to be a big part of the kids lives.

That's my update... more later I hope.

I stay the same.

I've just returned from a long journey. 19 days to be exact. I haven't found a job yet... so as I stayed here in Oklahoma City I was going stir crazy. I had to get away because every spare moment I've had I have wanted to hop in my car and drive down to the neighborhood, check on my kids and make sure they are okay. Yes... I still call them "my kids". They will always be my kids, even when they are old.

I told myself that when I got back here I would be rid of any bitterness and resentment I had before I left. So I spent 19 days wondering around: going to the beach, riding a bike, reading LOTS of books and just being with God. Asking him what I do next. I have found my identity for my entire adult life in my Rock Island kids, in people and relationships tied up in the neighborhood. Now that the net has fallen out from under me, who am I?

After 19 days of time figuring out who I want to be I finally figured it out. I'm who I was 19 days ago. An "ordinary radical". I don't like to follow the rules, I'm ridiculously opinionated about anyone with an opposing view than me on immigration, I believe EVERY KID is worth the effort and that none should fall through the cracks, I believe working in the inner city isn't a 9-5 job, it's a lifestyle (some people haven't figured that out), and I sin and make mistakes every day but my relationship with my God is extremely intimate and top priority.

I'm still me. I may take a job that pays the bills and I will probably even like the job. But my kids will always be where my heart is and I don't want anyone to doubt that. I love that every night before I go to bed I will usually get 3-4 text messages from different kids asking how my day went and if I have a new job yet. I love that I got a call yesterday from one of my kids in Mexico letting me know he's safe and coming home, because he knew I would worry. It took me 19 days to realize that jobs change, but I stay the same.

Take me out to the ball game!

It just occurred to me that I never blogged about my last event with my kids. It happened 3 Saturdays ago and at the end of the day I texted Luke and said, "that might have been the most fun I have had with the RI kids in the past 6 years". I'll explain.

I don't know if I've ever blogged about my brother. He's 21 years old and just amazing. He and I are different in a lot of ways. He's a genius, presidential scholar and straight A student. He is super organized and really into numbers, the stock market and math. He is analytical, thinks through things before he acts and is just all around very disciplined and responsible. I'm scatter-brained at times. I can't do long division but in the past 24 hours I have read 374 pages. I'm emotional and impulsive. As different as we are, we have one thing in common... we love inner city ministry and the kids at Rock Island.

My brother is a busy guy and he doesn't have much time to get down to Cross & Crown. He plays college baseball at Northwood University in Dallas, so I called him a few months ago and asked if he might be interested in doing a one day baseball clinic for the Rock Island boys. From that moment on, he was hooked. He was so excited to use one of his gifts to spend time with the kids. Now when I say my brother is organized, it's an understatement. He rounded up donors and all kinds of things to make the day possible. He also recruited about 10 other college players that he knew to help coach at the clinic.

Every one of the 19 boys got a black baseball hat that said RI (for Rock Island), a water bottle and a used glove the second they entered the field. They were so excited (Even though it was around 105 degrees). In the morning they were split into stations and went through all the different stations to learn skills. Of the 19, only about 5 had ever thrown a baseball. At lunch time we cooked out hot dogs and the kids took turns taking batting practice and watching the coaches hit home runs. After lunch was the highlight of the day, the game. Every kid got a chance to hit and I was sooooooooo proud of them. After the game they practiced sliding on the slip-n-slide.

The thing that was the most amazing were the smiles of every single one of the boys. They were all grinning ear to ear all day. Not one single boy complained about the heat. They were just having fun, not thinking about life back home. At the end of the day they had an awards ceremony and handed out awards for sportsmanship, hustle, etc. BUT the highlight was the big surprise. The kids had been asking all day if they could keep the used gloves. When we told them that we had to save them for camp next year they were BUMMED. But, what they didn't know was that the bank my brother works at (Citizen's Bank of Edmond) had donated a brand new glove for every kid at camp to go home with. They each went home with a new glove and new baseball. They were so excited.. just jumping around and grinning. The most rewarding part was the drive home. I was exhausted and assumed the kids were too. They had been outside playing baseball in the heat for 8 hours. But as we pulled up to Rock Island one of them yelled, "lets go to park for a pickup game".. they all shouted and sprinted off. Many of the kids told me it was the best day they had ever had. I was blessed to get to witness it.

P.S. One mom even told me that her son has been sleeping with his glove and ball every night. :)

Here's a video from the exciting day.

My uncle Scott.

Tonight something really amazing happened...but in order for you to understand how amazing it was.. I must take you back.

I have an uncle... his name is Scott. I remember praying for my uncle from the time I was a little child. ALWAYS. It was one of the automatics.. "Dear God, thank you for this day, thank you for my family, thank you for Jesus, please help uncle Scott..." My uncle had an alcohol problem. A serious alcohol problem. If you've ever had a loved one living addiction you know that you can't make the decision for them, they have to make it for themselves.. the hardest part was seeing how much my mom hurt for her brother. I remember writing him letters telling him how much I was praying for him. He was slowly drinking himself to death and didn't seem to care. It was painful to watch.

After 20 years of prayer and a divine intervention... my uncle decided to get help. When he decided to get help he called my mom. It took a few times for Scott to finally make the commitment, but when he did, Cross & Crown helped him pick up the pieces and get the help he needed. It has been amazing to watch the transformation in my uncle over the past 3 years. He has dedicated his life to Christ and is a completely new man. I'm so proud of him.

Tonight I saw the true evidence of his transformation and I saw his true heart. His pure heart. Some of my family was in town so we all went to my parents house for a cook-out. The doorbell rang and I went to open it. There at the door was my uncle Scott. I hadn't seen him since I resigned from my job. He knows how much I loved it and how hard this is for me. He just gave me the biggest hug and held on. Then the words came out of his mouth, "All these years you have been praying for me, now it's my time to pray for you" It's hard for me to imagine these words coming out of his mouth 5 years ago. But now it's so good to hear those words coming from him.

During this time in my life Scott is a constant reminder that God is a restorer of broken relationships, a mender of hurting hearts and a builder of torn down lives. I'm so happy to be a follower.

Here is a short video of Scott sharing his testimony months ago.

Give me time.

I'm working on what I'm going to blog about on here. So please give me some time. I think the thing that has made the blog so appealing in the past has been that it has been stories of God's presence in the city.. it's hasn't been "stories of Chandy's life and journey...the diary of Chandy...all about Chandy" or at least I hope not. Again...it's stories of God revealing himself in the most awesome ways. I'm trying to find ways to write about that in everyday life in the suburbs, not just working full-time in the hood. Who knows... next time I write I might just be living in the hood. So give me time.. I'll figure out my new perspective.

In the meantime I'm thinking about the kids every moment of every day. Wondering what they're doing, what they're eating, if they're staying out of trouble, if they are happy or sad. I talked to two of my kids on the phone last night and they were updating me on all the latest news. I love those kids.