Give me time.

I'm working on what I'm going to blog about on here. So please give me some time. I think the thing that has made the blog so appealing in the past has been that it has been stories of God's presence in the city.. it's hasn't been "stories of Chandy's life and journey...the diary of Chandy...all about Chandy" or at least I hope not. Again...it's stories of God revealing himself in the most awesome ways. I'm trying to find ways to write about that in everyday life in the suburbs, not just working full-time in the hood. Who knows... next time I write I might just be living in the hood. So give me time.. I'll figure out my new perspective.

In the meantime I'm thinking about the kids every moment of every day. Wondering what they're doing, what they're eating, if they're staying out of trouble, if they are happy or sad. I talked to two of my kids on the phone last night and they were updating me on all the latest news. I love those kids.

New Cross & Crown Blog

FYI.... After much consideration I'm going to keep this blog. It's been such a good diary for me of the past 2 years.

If you want to read about more Cross & Crown stuff from Luke and Ron you can go to...

www.lukesfoodforthought.blogspot.com

A new chapter in my story.

I've been wondering for about a week how I am going to write this blog...but I've come to the conclusion that no matter how much I think and pray about it, these words will not be easy. I'll cry as I type this...

I remember when I started at Cross and Crown a little over two years ago. I was a week out off college, living with my parents and confused about my future. I had a boyfriend who I thought I might marry and an exciting future ahead of me. I didn't know much, but I knew that I loved the kids in the neighborhood more than anything in the world and I had full intentions of being with them FOREVER.

Things have changed. I'm two years out of college, living on my own, broke up with the boyfriend........ AND....... I have been facing the hardest decision of my life for months now. Tomorrow I will meet with all my precious children and tell them that last week I turned my letter of resignation in at Cross & Crown. This week will be my last week there with them. How do I explain to them that I did promise I would be there forever but things have changed? I see adults promise those kids the world all the time and not follow through. I don't want to be one of those people. How do I explain to them that the last thing in the world I want to do is leave, but I just am? Where do I go from here?

I've been sick about this for some time now. No sleep and little food. (The only benefit of it all is the weight loss. Ha!) I don't have a safety net. I quit a job with no where to go and a mortgage and students loan payments and on and on. What am I thinking?

Here it is... I'm thinking that God knows how much I love every little soul in the C&C neighborhood. He knows that I would give my life for any one of those kids. My ministry won't stop now. I might not be lucky enough to have it as my full time job, but I will not stop spending time with those kids, having them at my house, and praying for them every day. No person can stop me from that. And when it comes to my finances I'm thinking that GOD IS GOOD. If I didn't trust Him in this storm then all the blogs, prayers and time with those kids meant nothing. This is my chance to live my life as an example and show them what it means to live out all the things I've been preaching to them. My God is "MIGHTY TO SAVE".


"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Chandy

Wednesday Morning Breakfast

I was blessed this morning...I got lucky. While the boys (Ron, Luke and John) were unloading 17,000 pounds of food, I had a chance to just be family with about 10 of the elementary kids.

They were all on the porch waiting when I got to work at 9. (They weren't supposed to be there til 10) Among them were a 2 year old and 4 year old asleep in a red wagon. Who knows how long they had been there just waiting. On days when I pull up to that, which is quite often, I always seem to get a big lump in my throat. So we went inside and "magically" there were just enough sausages and cinnamon rolls in the freezer to make breakfast for everyone. Some how I managed to cook it with the two wagon sleepers hanging on my back and a number of elementary "helpers" putting their paws all over the food. Afterwards we all just filled our plates and sat and watched cartoons.

For me, that was a typical Saturday and Sunday morning growing up. As I sat curled up on the couch with all of them I couldn't help but wonder if some of them had ever had hot breakfast. I also marveled at the PEACE. They were at home, glued to the t.v. with full bellies and the best part was that, unbeknownst to them, they were surrounded by the presence of God in Rock Island. There isn't a better place to be.

Preach it!-- Chandy

During the summer months we have a very busy schedule, every day with the Rock Island kids is designated for a specific event or task. Mondays are movie day, Tuesdays are work projects, Wednesdays are hang outs and Thursday are bible study. Each of those days is special in it's own way, but there is nothing like Thursday bible studies. I will admit, there are some days when the atmosphere is a little quiet and intimidating, but last Thursday was not the case. The Holy Spirit was so evident from the first words of the bible study, "Why did God invent mosquitos?" to the last moment when 5 kids stood up to ask for prayer for things going on in their life. Let me explain a little more.

Most weeks we have a specific topic we talk about, but this last week we decided to do an open day for questions from the kids about God, the Bible and life in general. We handed out bibles to all the kids and challenged them to try to find answers to their questions in it. We started with a prayer and then opened up the floor for the kids to ask questions. The first question was from a small 10 year old, "why did God invent mosquitos if they don't do anything but bite you?" Luke, Ron and I look around at each other and grin, but before we have time to even blink, the same 10 year old is reading the story of creation right out of the bible. A little time goes by and a few questions.... and then we get to the meat... the good stuff. But first I have to go back a little bit.

You see, a few years ago we had a kid in the neighborhood who was an acquaintance... we'll call him Michael. He walked by a lot and hardly came in, I gave him a few rides places but kept my distance... his ankle bracelet issued by the Oklahoma Department of Corrections was quite a deterrent to anyone getting to know him too well. Fast forward to two weeks ago.. we hadn't seen or heard from Michael in about 3-4 years. In he walks to Rock Island with a big grin on his face. Last we saw of him he was a prepubescent teen standing about 5 feet tall and weighing less than a hundred pounds. Now he's a man well over 6 feet. He didn't tell us much about where he had been and what he had been up to, but he made a point to tell me many times that he specifically came to Rock Island to get his life straight and stay out of trouble. Now we can go back to last Thursday.

I watched Michael the entire bible study as kids asked questions and he didn't say much, then in a pause I hear a question, "how can you believe in God when you can't see him and don't know he is there?" Crickets... crickets... crickets..... I throw out a few vacation bible school answers but know it isn't satisfying his real desire to know.. Luke says some things.. Ron does.. John does... but they are just words to him. He wants to know how there can be a God when all his brothers and sisters are spread out in foster homes all over Oklahoma and he has spent the majority of his childhood and life in jail. Then I hear from a voice, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." The kid reading the verse is a new kid who I'll call Nate.. we hadn't seen this kid since last summer and heard that he had spent the past year in jail... but he just happened to show up for bible study that day. After he reads the verse he begins to testify... and I mean TESTIFY about God's presence in His life and how he knows God has been there through abuse, jail cells, etc. He has the bible in his hand, he is waving it and he is preaching. And every kid in Rock Island is silent... dead silent. They are soaking up his every word like a sponge. I was in the corner just boohooing like a baby as this 17 year old preached about what REAL love and grace are. After he finished we didn't have much to say... so we just opened an invitation to kids who needed prayer. 5 kids stood up.. and these weren't kids that were our regulars.. they were newer kids that were rough and didn't seem like they could be cracked. They then stood still as other Rock Island kids stood around, laid hands on them and prayed over them. It was powerful. It was good.. and I was blessed.

Sometimes it's not the words of a pastor, priest or preacher that change a life, it's the words of someone who thinks they are ordinary empowered by the Holy Spirit.