Comfortably Numb

Right now I'm sitting in the Rock Island office in complete silence. This is a very rare occasion and I'm loving every minute of it. All the youth kids are in the big room watching "Blood Diamond". Every Tuesday we do movie day. We invite all the middle school/ high school kids from the neighborhood in to eat popcorn/candy and watch a popular movie. Last week we watched "Freedom Writers" and the week before was "Stomp the Yard". After the movie is over we usually ask the kids what they saw in the movie that might apply to what they know about God. I have liked many of the answers we have gotten in the past few weeks. I wonder what comments they will have after the movie today. If you haven't seen Blood Diamond, it's a great flick.

At Northchurch, my pastor Rodney is doing a series called "Comfortably Numb". I have really enjoyed it and this subject has gotten me thinking. I have been here full-time for just over a year and in that short time I feel as if I have become comfortably numb with some of the surroundings.Yesterday was a prime example of this. Early in the morning I was standing out on the corner in front of the mission talking to a neighbor when a car sped by and a man came tumbling out of the passenger seat onto the street ... the car kept moving. He was bloody and screaming and one of the neighbors called 911, a few cops and an ambulance showed up. I came to find out that the man had picked up a prostitute who pulled a knife on him and stole his car. The whole time all this is going on, I'm just sitting in the grass playing hand-clap games with some of the kids, trying to keep the away from the cool people in uniform. I didn't really think anything of it and chalk it up to another day in the life.

As I go inside the mission everyone is wondering what is going on. They wondered why I didn't run in to get help and let everyone know. I had a moment after that when I realized. Wow... I am so numb to some of the chaos in this neighborhood. I just sat in the grass and played with the kids while all this went on around me. I felt a little guilty. Then I realized. There is one good thing and one bad thing about my lack of freaking out at chaos. The good thing is that... I don't freak out. I don't really feel like I ever panic in the day to day situations here and that is a good quality for inner-city work. On the bad side.... I might be comfortably numb. I hope that I don't ever miss an opportunity of people hurting because I'm used to it. I hope I don't ever reach a point when someone's pain will be unimportant to me because it seems "normal". I hope I never reach a point where I am unable to be broken. I hope that God continues to break me here... because that is when He gets to sweep in and save the day and HE is glorified!!! I hope I'm not ever comfortably numb.