The gift-- Chandy

Yesterday was a great day. We had a baby shower for one of our girls at Rock Island. I have mentioned her before. She is 16 and due next month. All last week I was a little bit worried about the shower. I told a few people about it that volunteer here at Cross & Crown and also gave her invitations to hand out to family and friends, but I was worried no one would show up and her feelings would be hurt. On Thursday night at RI bible study, I mentioned to all the girls that they should try and come to support their friend. As we set out food and decorated I was a little worried, but as 4 o'clock rolled around I was overwhelmed.

You see, Mia attends Sunday night worship every week by herself. Even at 8 months pregnant she walks the 5 blocks every Sunday evening and sits on the back row. She doesn't talk to many people and kind of keeps to herself, but she is always here. I don't think Mia thought anyone even knew her, but she soon found out.. they sure do love her. A few hispanic women from the neighborhood(who don't even speak the same language as Mia) came and brought precious little gifts. There were a few staff members and family friends that came and then there were the Rock Island girls. Five teenage girls came to love on and support their friend. It was sweet.

BUT the sweetest story is about a little girl I'll call "Kelly". Kelly is in our Rock Island youth program. She is a frail, abused 6th grader who is very soft-spoken and shy. We've known her on and off for many years as she has been shuffled around by DHS to different homes. She currently lives with her biological parents. Their family lives in a rundown house that rarely has functioning electricity and their week revolves around what churches in the area are serving meals. Kelly has one pair of pants and two shirts that she rotates for her school uniform. She wears the same "school uniform" on Saturdays and Sundays. I didn't see Kelly come into the shower, but I glanced over at some point during the shower to see her sitting quietly in a corner with a plate full of food. As Mia opened her gifts she held up a small pink bag without a tag. "Whose is this?" It was dead silent and no one said a word, she repeated again, "Whose is this?" And then a small voice comes from the corner..."That's mine". It was Kelly. She smiled proudly as Mia opened a little pink baby blanket.

As I looked at Kelly I was reminded of the parable of the widow's offering. Kelly has nothing, she is hungry and cold, but she probably took everything she had to buy a baby blanket for her friend. That's friendship and that's love. We could all learn a lesson from Kelly's precious gift.

"Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.
Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."
-Mark 12:41-44

God appointment - Luke

This past week at the mission was absolutely crazy.

Wednesday, following a 7,000 lb. unloading of food from the regional food bank, a full day of 50 families for food and clothes, 5 eye appointments and a Valentines bash organized by yours truly for our jr. high/high school kids (which means I grabbed some 2 liters, frozen pastrys and heated up some frozen pizzas, with the help of Chandy), Chandy and I headed off with one of our teens to a meeting with her DHS workers. Without going into much detail, we meet with her real mom, foster mom, brother and 2 case workers to sort out the logistics of her pregnancy and were she was going to keep the baby. Really I was more of a fly on the wall just making a presence to let our teen know we are supporting her.

After a somewhat grueling 2 hours of verbal battling I headed off to my house to change and rush off to a very important city-league basketball game (what I thought was important). I was ready to clear my head of all of the days' events and kick back a little bit. But, before I could do that I had to get some gas. My "gas empty" logo had been flashing for 10-15 miles. I drove 2-3 additional miles before pulling into a 7-11 only to find that their gas was "out of order". Huh? None of their pumps were functional so I backtracked a few miles to another gas station and as I pulled in I realized you couldn't pay at the pump! No way. I think at this point I actually said something like, "Welcome to the 21st century", to the gas station as I peeled out of the lot and wasted my already dwindling gas. So, plan C was to come to the gas station located right across from the mission, the 7-11 at Western and 10th. Shortly after I swiped my credit card at the pump, which saved 30-45 seconds, I spotted a man who comes to the mission frequently.

This man is generally pretty quiet and keeps to himself but over the last several weeks at our Sunday worship we had created somewhat of a friendship. So, I felt comfortable enough to call out his name. He, lets call him Bill, turned around and waved and responded, "Hey Luke", and then headed inside the store. I didn't think much more about it but several minutes later as I was pulling out of the gas station I spotted Bill again, walking. I knew that Bill lived close to the mission because he always walks to the Sunday night services. I pulled over and offered Bill a ride home. He gladly accepted and got in. Turns out Bill only lives like 2 blocks from the mission, so our conversation was short, but meaningful.

Bill was a little more talkative this specific night and I was starting to formulate some reasons as to why that was, which he quickly confirmed. "I messed up tonight, Luke", he told me. "What do you mean, Bill, how did you mess up?" He informed me that he had been to the bar and gotten drunk. I asked him if that happens alot and he told me not too often but he has trouble with it every so often. He was still very respectful as we talked and I could tell he was embarrassed. As I pulled onto his street I told him I would see him Sunday night hopefully. He looked right at me and said, "I will see you Sunday. I just love coming down there. For some reason I just can't stay away from that place, Something just keeps pulling me back there. I will see you Sunday."

I realize that he was drunk and so much of what he said was probably as a result of his increased courage, but the fact that he said this at all really made me think about where he was coming from. There really is something about the mission that keeps bringing him back and it's not anything he could pinpoint but I know what it is. It's the same thing that brought me to Christ, it's his love. The love and acceptance that Bill experiences at the mission on Sunday nights is why he keeps coming back. Sooner or later he is going to figure out why he keeps coming, I just hope I will be there when he does.

Ramblings-- Chandy

My aunt was in a nostalgic mood and sent these pictures to me yesterday. The first pic is from 4 years ago. Luke and I were about to head off to our junior year of college at Abilene Christian University. The second pic was taken about 6 months ago in Rock Island. Those same kids now grown up a bit.

It's amazing to think about the past few years. I loved all those kids 4 years ago, but that love has even grown more now. Sometimes when they have had a bad day at school or home life is rough I just want to sit and hold them... I have to remember they aren't little kids anymore. :) It's hard to believe that some of the babies in the first picture are now having babies.

I think if there is one thing I have learned since 4 years ago it's that I can't save the world. I'm pretty sure when the first picture was taken I had dreams of all the kids going to college, staying drug/alcohol free, accepting Christ and raising good families. I still have those dreams for my kids, but a lot have fallen through the cracks over the years. It hurts me, but I'm lucky to serve a God who is a redeemer and I know without a doubt He can still save those kids. It's not up to me. I'm also lucky that God didn't call me to save these kids from their decisions, He just called me to love them.

Last night I was meeting with my small group from Northchurch and the question came up, " what is different now then from when you didn't know the Lord?" I think it's the sense of security I have. I know, without a doubt, that ultimately everything is going to be okay. I know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him" (Rom. 8:28) I don't fall to pieces, I trust in my Lord.

Yesterday one of my teen girls called in a complete panic and I just told her in an even-toned voice that everything is going to be okay. I just kept repeating that and eventually she became frustrated at the catch phrase and said "why do you keep saying that?" I say that because I KNOW that God is faithful. He wants the best for his children and I am secure in that.
I know that sounds cheesy and overly optimistic but I BELIEVE it.

How lucky the kids in these pictures are that they aren't relying on me to save them.. because I'm human and can't do it. If I was trying to do it, I wouldn't be able to do my job. I see hurt, tragedy and devastation everyday and it's just a reminder that I am incapable and unqualified. It's not my obligation to save them, it's to love them. HE will save them.

Go light your world-- Chandy

Right now I am sitting in our sanctuary. I love it. It is the middle of the day and the sun is shining through the original stained glass from when our building was built in 1910. On days when I'm lucky I like to come in here and turn the music up and worship by myself. Right now I have the opportunity to do that. I'm just sitting here praising to an amazing song while one of the local street men who I call "John the Baptist" is in another corner painting and singing along. This song just came on by Chris Rice and I just paused and realized what it was saying. How appropriate. God is good today!


There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world

Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Backyard barbecues in the summer!-- Chandy

About a year ago I read the amazing book, "Irresistible Revolution", by Shane Claiborne. At the time I read the book, I had just signed a contract to buy a house in the "suburbs". The more I read the book, which is about living in the community where you serve, the more I began to feel guilty about not buying a house down in the 'hood. I prayed and sought advice from a lot of people. I eventually came to the conclusion that it probably isn't the best idea for a 23 year old single girl to move into the ghetto by herself. On one hand I wondered if I wasn't trusting God enough and I should move down there anyways, on the other hand I knew that I needed to respect the advice of many wise men and women of God who adamantly told me that safety is important. In August of this past year I moved into my house and felt very blessed to be able to afford such a nice home for myself, but it was still bittersweet. I still had an inner battle waging about the fact that I have two empty bedrooms in my house and most of my kids live in homes where 5 or 6 people may be sleeping in the same room. Matters didn't get any better when, in September, I took a trip to St. Louis with the staff and was privileged to sit in a room of about 25 people for an all day conference with Shane Claiborne. I left the conference feeling even more strongly that I needed to live in the hood. But when I returned I realized that there was no way my family, friends or staff at the mission would okay me living in a dangerous area by myself. So I asked God, "why have you put this desire in my heart if it isn't possible?". I have been waiting for some peace in this area for the past few months and just this weekend I came to the answer the Lord has been giving me all along.

He is telling me that at this point in my life He desires for my home to be a SANCTUARY, a calm away from the storm and safehouse for the abused. I will share a couple examples:

The first being this past weekend. One of our RI (Rock Island) girls who is 7 1/2 months pregnant is on the run. While she is pregnant, she has a strong desire to NOT live in the abusive situation she was in, so she has been staying with friends and family all over the city. Because of this, she is classified as a runaway and on Thursday the police came looking for her. On Thursday night she came into RI and had a breakdown. She got extremely upset about the possibility of being sent back to her bad family life. We knew that if DHS heard about it, they would be willing to create other options for her. But it was late on Thursday night and we knew we couldn't get ahold of her caseworker until Friday morning. So we took the trek out to my home in the suburbs and "hid out". She was very distraught, but the farther we got out of the city, the more she began to calm down. For that one night she felt safe and untouchable. She got a warm shower, warm meal and warm bed. She had security for maybe the first time in months.

The other example is a precious little family who I adore. It is a very young mother with 4 kids. She lives in a 200 sq. foot efficiency apartment with all the children and sometimes her addict husband. He is quite abusive at times and it is a very rough environment. I can tell when he is on a binge or in an especially bad mood because she will ask me to take her 2 youngest girls (ages 2 and 4) home with me. By now they each have their own carseat for my car and their own special drawer in my guest room with fresh pj's and toys. It is obvious they don't get bathed very often and so the first thing they always want to do is take a bubble bath. After that they always curl up in the living room and watch Monsters Inc. I have 2 couches for them to stretch out on, but they always choose to snuggle up together in a chair until they fall asleep. (That's what the picture is below).

The Lord has given me peace about my home in this stage of my life. I believe there is a purpose for it now. BUT, I still hope someday that I will marry a man that won't mind living in the ghetto with me. THEN I can move down there and have the things I dream about: dinners with all the neighbors, movie nights on the weekends and backyard barbecues in the summer!




"My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me,and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence." - 2 Samuel 22:3

Baby shower-- Chandy

For those of you who have been asking... we are having a baby shower at Rock Island for one of our teens, Mia, on Sunday, Feb. 24 at 4:00. I actually took her last week to register at Walmart and it was such a special time together. We roamed around for a couple of hours and just talked about life.

Mia is actually very mature for her young 16 years. She has been on her own for her entire pregnancy. Her family kicked her out when they found out she was pregnant and she has been staying with friends and some extended family. She has been taking parenting classes and is even staying in high school full time (she goes to an alternative high school where they have on-site daycare and maternity leave).

Ron and I were talking the other day and we share an opinion. Mia knows that she made a mistake and now there are consequences, but it's time for people to stop viewing this as a huge tragedy. We aren't called to inform her of her wrong-doings (she gets that from enough people). We love her like Jesus and hope that we can help her raise her child to be a believer. I'm proud of Mia and the decisions she has been making lately and just pray that she continues to make those good decisions after her daughter is born.

If anyone would like to buy her a gift or attend the shower, just let me know. I'm sure she would be very grateful.