Go light your world-- Chandy

Right now I am sitting in our sanctuary. I love it. It is the middle of the day and the sun is shining through the original stained glass from when our building was built in 1910. On days when I'm lucky I like to come in here and turn the music up and worship by myself. Right now I have the opportunity to do that. I'm just sitting here praising to an amazing song while one of the local street men who I call "John the Baptist" is in another corner painting and singing along. This song just came on by Chris Rice and I just paused and realized what it was saying. How appropriate. God is good today!


There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world

Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world

Backyard barbecues in the summer!-- Chandy

About a year ago I read the amazing book, "Irresistible Revolution", by Shane Claiborne. At the time I read the book, I had just signed a contract to buy a house in the "suburbs". The more I read the book, which is about living in the community where you serve, the more I began to feel guilty about not buying a house down in the 'hood. I prayed and sought advice from a lot of people. I eventually came to the conclusion that it probably isn't the best idea for a 23 year old single girl to move into the ghetto by herself. On one hand I wondered if I wasn't trusting God enough and I should move down there anyways, on the other hand I knew that I needed to respect the advice of many wise men and women of God who adamantly told me that safety is important. In August of this past year I moved into my house and felt very blessed to be able to afford such a nice home for myself, but it was still bittersweet. I still had an inner battle waging about the fact that I have two empty bedrooms in my house and most of my kids live in homes where 5 or 6 people may be sleeping in the same room. Matters didn't get any better when, in September, I took a trip to St. Louis with the staff and was privileged to sit in a room of about 25 people for an all day conference with Shane Claiborne. I left the conference feeling even more strongly that I needed to live in the hood. But when I returned I realized that there was no way my family, friends or staff at the mission would okay me living in a dangerous area by myself. So I asked God, "why have you put this desire in my heart if it isn't possible?". I have been waiting for some peace in this area for the past few months and just this weekend I came to the answer the Lord has been giving me all along.

He is telling me that at this point in my life He desires for my home to be a SANCTUARY, a calm away from the storm and safehouse for the abused. I will share a couple examples:

The first being this past weekend. One of our RI (Rock Island) girls who is 7 1/2 months pregnant is on the run. While she is pregnant, she has a strong desire to NOT live in the abusive situation she was in, so she has been staying with friends and family all over the city. Because of this, she is classified as a runaway and on Thursday the police came looking for her. On Thursday night she came into RI and had a breakdown. She got extremely upset about the possibility of being sent back to her bad family life. We knew that if DHS heard about it, they would be willing to create other options for her. But it was late on Thursday night and we knew we couldn't get ahold of her caseworker until Friday morning. So we took the trek out to my home in the suburbs and "hid out". She was very distraught, but the farther we got out of the city, the more she began to calm down. For that one night she felt safe and untouchable. She got a warm shower, warm meal and warm bed. She had security for maybe the first time in months.

The other example is a precious little family who I adore. It is a very young mother with 4 kids. She lives in a 200 sq. foot efficiency apartment with all the children and sometimes her addict husband. He is quite abusive at times and it is a very rough environment. I can tell when he is on a binge or in an especially bad mood because she will ask me to take her 2 youngest girls (ages 2 and 4) home with me. By now they each have their own carseat for my car and their own special drawer in my guest room with fresh pj's and toys. It is obvious they don't get bathed very often and so the first thing they always want to do is take a bubble bath. After that they always curl up in the living room and watch Monsters Inc. I have 2 couches for them to stretch out on, but they always choose to snuggle up together in a chair until they fall asleep. (That's what the picture is below).

The Lord has given me peace about my home in this stage of my life. I believe there is a purpose for it now. BUT, I still hope someday that I will marry a man that won't mind living in the ghetto with me. THEN I can move down there and have the things I dream about: dinners with all the neighbors, movie nights on the weekends and backyard barbecues in the summer!




"My God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me,and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence." - 2 Samuel 22:3

Baby shower-- Chandy

For those of you who have been asking... we are having a baby shower at Rock Island for one of our teens, Mia, on Sunday, Feb. 24 at 4:00. I actually took her last week to register at Walmart and it was such a special time together. We roamed around for a couple of hours and just talked about life.

Mia is actually very mature for her young 16 years. She has been on her own for her entire pregnancy. Her family kicked her out when they found out she was pregnant and she has been staying with friends and some extended family. She has been taking parenting classes and is even staying in high school full time (she goes to an alternative high school where they have on-site daycare and maternity leave).

Ron and I were talking the other day and we share an opinion. Mia knows that she made a mistake and now there are consequences, but it's time for people to stop viewing this as a huge tragedy. We aren't called to inform her of her wrong-doings (she gets that from enough people). We love her like Jesus and hope that we can help her raise her child to be a believer. I'm proud of Mia and the decisions she has been making lately and just pray that she continues to make those good decisions after her daughter is born.

If anyone would like to buy her a gift or attend the shower, just let me know. I'm sure she would be very grateful.

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" I want to live here for always"--- Chandy

It is a rare occasion when we have enough volunteers that I can spend the whole day in the office doing "work" kinda stuff. Most days are filled with so much organized chaos that none of the staff has a chance to do that. Today I got to spend the whole morning at Rock Island doing some things on my "to do" list. It was nice.

Now let me just tell you something. I hate Mondays. I know that most people say that.. but I really do. It's always super hard to wake up on those mornings and then when I finally get to work I can never find a parking spot because there are so many people (which isn't a bad thing). I am always exhausted on Mondays. Today was especially bad because I have the start of a cold so I woke up this morning and took some pretty heavy duty cold medicine. All day I felt like I was floating and moving in slow motion. Haha.. I know you all know what I'm talking about. So I say all this to say.. I wasn't the most positive person today unfortunately.

Back to my story... I was in Rock Island doing some work on the computer when there comes a knock at the door. I open it to see a 4 year old little girl standing all by herself with a big grin. Her name is Emily. She is a little girl from the neighborhood that I think I have a very special bond with. As soon as I open the door she walks right in and plops down on the couch. Her english is very bad so I was shocked to hear the next words out of her mouth..... "I want to live here for always". I thought she meant America but as I began to talk a little bit with her I realized she was talking about Rock Island. I asked her why she wanted to live in Rock Island and she said two things: "because you are nice" and "you have food". I felt this strong urge to pray for her at that minute and she held my hand while I prayed the Lord's protection over her sweet little life. It was a precious moment. As soon as I said amen she hopped right off the couch and bolted out the door. That little girl made my day with her sweet words. The Lord knew I needed the encouragement. I love when He sets up little appointments like that.

The sad thing is that even at the young age of 4, Emily already realizes that things are not right where she lives. She already has a desire to live in a place where the people are nice and she has access to food. Think of a 4 year old you know. Do you think the thought of wanting to live somewhere else or the desire for food even crosses their mind? I would think they would be thinking about how big they should build their lego tower or whether or not they might get to stay up past 8:00 on the weekends. Maybe that's just me.





One day children were brought to Jesus in the hope that he would lay hands on them and pray over them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus intervened: "Let the children alone, don't prevent them from coming to me. God's kingdom is made up of people like these." After laying hands on them, he left. - Matthew 19:13-15 The Message

Girls in the 'hood--- Chandy

Let me start this by saying. I have little experience with girl issues. Althought I am female, I grew up with almost all guy friends. Even to this day I would pick video games over shopping any day. So... at times I feel a little ill equipped with the Rock Island girls.

Last week we started back our Thursday night bible study. We have split once again into guys and girls (less distraction). The boys are studying the gospel of John and the girls have just started reading a book called "Daughters of Heaven".

When I talk about a girls bible study, don't get the wrong impression. It's not a bunch of princesses sitting around sipping tea. The girls study attenders range from suspected prostitutes to non-english speakers and pregnant girls to gang members. Let's put it this way.. the glares that are being passed across the room might make some people cower in fear. I know one thing, I strategically place my chair, so if anything does go down, it's going to have to go down with me in the middle. Needless to say, the girls aren't very chummy with each other. At Rock Island we have 7-8 girls on average and about 40 boys.

At last in our study we had a light bulb moment. I read a quote out of the book, "Just like no two snowflakes follow the same path to the ground, no two people follow the same path to heaven". I then explained that even though we are not all friends, we are all fighting for the same thing.. The girls just kind of looked around at each other and there was a very long ackward pause. That's when I think they realized that they are all different, but have the same goal in mind. They are all just trying to survive, want better lives and want to learn more about Jesus. They have found their common ground, the Lord.

After the study is over on Thursday nights we usually all cook dinner together and hang out at Rock Island til 8. On a normal night the girls scatter to their different territories in the builing the second we say amen. Last night they all sat in the living room and talked for a while. They even all expressed interest in helping throw the baby shower for one of our girls. I'm excited for the future of not playing referree. Who knows... they all might just become friends.

My thoughts on addiction-- Chandy

This past Sunday night was a reminder that alcoholism is a big deal here at Cross & Crown. During our worship time one of our precious men, William, was so drunk that he dropped to the floor and began seizing. He does that often. As some people in the crowd began to panic, we continued to worship. We are used to it. When Paul got up to share the message for the night, he explained the reason we didn't call 911 or freak out. He shared that William was in the best place to pass out because at least he would be warm and wouldn't have passed out in the cold and frozen to death. Scenarios like this seem all too normal to me and the rest of the staff.

We try to combat addiction with our weekly AA meetings, which are a huge help, but the only people that can be helped are the people who want it. We don't withhold our services until people are clean or go to rehab, anyone and everyone is welcome. I think that's what Jesus would do.

Many of the men and women are homeless because of their addiction. They didn't just one day run out of money and decide to live on the streets. For most of them it was a process of alienating their families, using their entire paychecks on booze or drugs, and getting in major debt. Their addiction became such a big deal that they could no longer function in a normal society. I'm going to make a generalization. I would say that of all the homeless people we know, 90% have some sort of addiction. And the reason they are homeless is because they got tired of letting people down. They decided that it was easier to live on their own in the street than continue to hurt the people around them. Many of the alcoholics we deal with have some sort of anxiety disorder about being around people.

Addiction is a prison. It makes me sad to see some of my street friends wither away. I believe without a doubt there is only one way to be free from that prison. Jesus. He's the only one that can offer true freedom. One of my friends, Roy, is a homeless alcoholic. His addiction is so bad that he rarely ever drinks actual liquor, but instead chugs listerine. Roy has an amazing heart and has given his life to the Lord. My favorite encouragement to Roy is that "Satan has his earthly body, but the Lord has his heavenly body and that's all that matters."

I know this blog was kind of all over the place, but I just wanted to vent about the sadness I've seen lately. Please pray for all our friends with addictions.. pray that the Lord would set them free from the bondage they live in.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners." -Isaiah 61:1