Update

I have dreams of returning to blogging when I have more stories to share. So I'm not going to abandon my blog just yet.

The past few weeks have been interesting. I've been on the job search like crazy and haven't had any luck. It started out as a fun search to see what I wanted to be when I grow up. Now it's gotten to the point to where I am just wondering when I might see a paycheck in the future. I've come to realize that a job search isn't about looking on monster.com or sending your resume in to headhunters. It's all about who you know. Anyone got any ideas?!?!

I can't stay away from the kids. Sunday nights at Cross & Crown have started back so I do go to the worship service. Took a couple of kiddos to go see High School Musical on Ice. Had dinner at some houses of neighborhood families. Yesterday took a kid shopping that was embarrassed to go to school cause nothing fit. I talk to a lot of them on the phone. I'm so lucky that I still get to be a big part of the kids lives.

That's my update... more later I hope.

I stay the same.

I've just returned from a long journey. 19 days to be exact. I haven't found a job yet... so as I stayed here in Oklahoma City I was going stir crazy. I had to get away because every spare moment I've had I have wanted to hop in my car and drive down to the neighborhood, check on my kids and make sure they are okay. Yes... I still call them "my kids". They will always be my kids, even when they are old.

I told myself that when I got back here I would be rid of any bitterness and resentment I had before I left. So I spent 19 days wondering around: going to the beach, riding a bike, reading LOTS of books and just being with God. Asking him what I do next. I have found my identity for my entire adult life in my Rock Island kids, in people and relationships tied up in the neighborhood. Now that the net has fallen out from under me, who am I?

After 19 days of time figuring out who I want to be I finally figured it out. I'm who I was 19 days ago. An "ordinary radical". I don't like to follow the rules, I'm ridiculously opinionated about anyone with an opposing view than me on immigration, I believe EVERY KID is worth the effort and that none should fall through the cracks, I believe working in the inner city isn't a 9-5 job, it's a lifestyle (some people haven't figured that out), and I sin and make mistakes every day but my relationship with my God is extremely intimate and top priority.

I'm still me. I may take a job that pays the bills and I will probably even like the job. But my kids will always be where my heart is and I don't want anyone to doubt that. I love that every night before I go to bed I will usually get 3-4 text messages from different kids asking how my day went and if I have a new job yet. I love that I got a call yesterday from one of my kids in Mexico letting me know he's safe and coming home, because he knew I would worry. It took me 19 days to realize that jobs change, but I stay the same.

Take me out to the ball game!

It just occurred to me that I never blogged about my last event with my kids. It happened 3 Saturdays ago and at the end of the day I texted Luke and said, "that might have been the most fun I have had with the RI kids in the past 6 years". I'll explain.

I don't know if I've ever blogged about my brother. He's 21 years old and just amazing. He and I are different in a lot of ways. He's a genius, presidential scholar and straight A student. He is super organized and really into numbers, the stock market and math. He is analytical, thinks through things before he acts and is just all around very disciplined and responsible. I'm scatter-brained at times. I can't do long division but in the past 24 hours I have read 374 pages. I'm emotional and impulsive. As different as we are, we have one thing in common... we love inner city ministry and the kids at Rock Island.

My brother is a busy guy and he doesn't have much time to get down to Cross & Crown. He plays college baseball at Northwood University in Dallas, so I called him a few months ago and asked if he might be interested in doing a one day baseball clinic for the Rock Island boys. From that moment on, he was hooked. He was so excited to use one of his gifts to spend time with the kids. Now when I say my brother is organized, it's an understatement. He rounded up donors and all kinds of things to make the day possible. He also recruited about 10 other college players that he knew to help coach at the clinic.

Every one of the 19 boys got a black baseball hat that said RI (for Rock Island), a water bottle and a used glove the second they entered the field. They were so excited (Even though it was around 105 degrees). In the morning they were split into stations and went through all the different stations to learn skills. Of the 19, only about 5 had ever thrown a baseball. At lunch time we cooked out hot dogs and the kids took turns taking batting practice and watching the coaches hit home runs. After lunch was the highlight of the day, the game. Every kid got a chance to hit and I was sooooooooo proud of them. After the game they practiced sliding on the slip-n-slide.

The thing that was the most amazing were the smiles of every single one of the boys. They were all grinning ear to ear all day. Not one single boy complained about the heat. They were just having fun, not thinking about life back home. At the end of the day they had an awards ceremony and handed out awards for sportsmanship, hustle, etc. BUT the highlight was the big surprise. The kids had been asking all day if they could keep the used gloves. When we told them that we had to save them for camp next year they were BUMMED. But, what they didn't know was that the bank my brother works at (Citizen's Bank of Edmond) had donated a brand new glove for every kid at camp to go home with. They each went home with a new glove and new baseball. They were so excited.. just jumping around and grinning. The most rewarding part was the drive home. I was exhausted and assumed the kids were too. They had been outside playing baseball in the heat for 8 hours. But as we pulled up to Rock Island one of them yelled, "lets go to park for a pickup game".. they all shouted and sprinted off. Many of the kids told me it was the best day they had ever had. I was blessed to get to witness it.

P.S. One mom even told me that her son has been sleeping with his glove and ball every night. :)

Here's a video from the exciting day.

My uncle Scott.

Tonight something really amazing happened...but in order for you to understand how amazing it was.. I must take you back.

I have an uncle... his name is Scott. I remember praying for my uncle from the time I was a little child. ALWAYS. It was one of the automatics.. "Dear God, thank you for this day, thank you for my family, thank you for Jesus, please help uncle Scott..." My uncle had an alcohol problem. A serious alcohol problem. If you've ever had a loved one living addiction you know that you can't make the decision for them, they have to make it for themselves.. the hardest part was seeing how much my mom hurt for her brother. I remember writing him letters telling him how much I was praying for him. He was slowly drinking himself to death and didn't seem to care. It was painful to watch.

After 20 years of prayer and a divine intervention... my uncle decided to get help. When he decided to get help he called my mom. It took a few times for Scott to finally make the commitment, but when he did, Cross & Crown helped him pick up the pieces and get the help he needed. It has been amazing to watch the transformation in my uncle over the past 3 years. He has dedicated his life to Christ and is a completely new man. I'm so proud of him.

Tonight I saw the true evidence of his transformation and I saw his true heart. His pure heart. Some of my family was in town so we all went to my parents house for a cook-out. The doorbell rang and I went to open it. There at the door was my uncle Scott. I hadn't seen him since I resigned from my job. He knows how much I loved it and how hard this is for me. He just gave me the biggest hug and held on. Then the words came out of his mouth, "All these years you have been praying for me, now it's my time to pray for you" It's hard for me to imagine these words coming out of his mouth 5 years ago. But now it's so good to hear those words coming from him.

During this time in my life Scott is a constant reminder that God is a restorer of broken relationships, a mender of hurting hearts and a builder of torn down lives. I'm so happy to be a follower.

Here is a short video of Scott sharing his testimony months ago.

Give me time.

I'm working on what I'm going to blog about on here. So please give me some time. I think the thing that has made the blog so appealing in the past has been that it has been stories of God's presence in the city.. it's hasn't been "stories of Chandy's life and journey...the diary of Chandy...all about Chandy" or at least I hope not. Again...it's stories of God revealing himself in the most awesome ways. I'm trying to find ways to write about that in everyday life in the suburbs, not just working full-time in the hood. Who knows... next time I write I might just be living in the hood. So give me time.. I'll figure out my new perspective.

In the meantime I'm thinking about the kids every moment of every day. Wondering what they're doing, what they're eating, if they're staying out of trouble, if they are happy or sad. I talked to two of my kids on the phone last night and they were updating me on all the latest news. I love those kids.

New Cross & Crown Blog

FYI.... After much consideration I'm going to keep this blog. It's been such a good diary for me of the past 2 years.

If you want to read about more Cross & Crown stuff from Luke and Ron you can go to...

www.lukesfoodforthought.blogspot.com

A new chapter in my story.

I've been wondering for about a week how I am going to write this blog...but I've come to the conclusion that no matter how much I think and pray about it, these words will not be easy. I'll cry as I type this...

I remember when I started at Cross and Crown a little over two years ago. I was a week out off college, living with my parents and confused about my future. I had a boyfriend who I thought I might marry and an exciting future ahead of me. I didn't know much, but I knew that I loved the kids in the neighborhood more than anything in the world and I had full intentions of being with them FOREVER.

Things have changed. I'm two years out of college, living on my own, broke up with the boyfriend........ AND....... I have been facing the hardest decision of my life for months now. Tomorrow I will meet with all my precious children and tell them that last week I turned my letter of resignation in at Cross & Crown. This week will be my last week there with them. How do I explain to them that I did promise I would be there forever but things have changed? I see adults promise those kids the world all the time and not follow through. I don't want to be one of those people. How do I explain to them that the last thing in the world I want to do is leave, but I just am? Where do I go from here?

I've been sick about this for some time now. No sleep and little food. (The only benefit of it all is the weight loss. Ha!) I don't have a safety net. I quit a job with no where to go and a mortgage and students loan payments and on and on. What am I thinking?

Here it is... I'm thinking that God knows how much I love every little soul in the C&C neighborhood. He knows that I would give my life for any one of those kids. My ministry won't stop now. I might not be lucky enough to have it as my full time job, but I will not stop spending time with those kids, having them at my house, and praying for them every day. No person can stop me from that. And when it comes to my finances I'm thinking that GOD IS GOOD. If I didn't trust Him in this storm then all the blogs, prayers and time with those kids meant nothing. This is my chance to live my life as an example and show them what it means to live out all the things I've been preaching to them. My God is "MIGHTY TO SAVE".


"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Chandy

Wednesday Morning Breakfast

I was blessed this morning...I got lucky. While the boys (Ron, Luke and John) were unloading 17,000 pounds of food, I had a chance to just be family with about 10 of the elementary kids.

They were all on the porch waiting when I got to work at 9. (They weren't supposed to be there til 10) Among them were a 2 year old and 4 year old asleep in a red wagon. Who knows how long they had been there just waiting. On days when I pull up to that, which is quite often, I always seem to get a big lump in my throat. So we went inside and "magically" there were just enough sausages and cinnamon rolls in the freezer to make breakfast for everyone. Some how I managed to cook it with the two wagon sleepers hanging on my back and a number of elementary "helpers" putting their paws all over the food. Afterwards we all just filled our plates and sat and watched cartoons.

For me, that was a typical Saturday and Sunday morning growing up. As I sat curled up on the couch with all of them I couldn't help but wonder if some of them had ever had hot breakfast. I also marveled at the PEACE. They were at home, glued to the t.v. with full bellies and the best part was that, unbeknownst to them, they were surrounded by the presence of God in Rock Island. There isn't a better place to be.

Preach it!-- Chandy

During the summer months we have a very busy schedule, every day with the Rock Island kids is designated for a specific event or task. Mondays are movie day, Tuesdays are work projects, Wednesdays are hang outs and Thursday are bible study. Each of those days is special in it's own way, but there is nothing like Thursday bible studies. I will admit, there are some days when the atmosphere is a little quiet and intimidating, but last Thursday was not the case. The Holy Spirit was so evident from the first words of the bible study, "Why did God invent mosquitos?" to the last moment when 5 kids stood up to ask for prayer for things going on in their life. Let me explain a little more.

Most weeks we have a specific topic we talk about, but this last week we decided to do an open day for questions from the kids about God, the Bible and life in general. We handed out bibles to all the kids and challenged them to try to find answers to their questions in it. We started with a prayer and then opened up the floor for the kids to ask questions. The first question was from a small 10 year old, "why did God invent mosquitos if they don't do anything but bite you?" Luke, Ron and I look around at each other and grin, but before we have time to even blink, the same 10 year old is reading the story of creation right out of the bible. A little time goes by and a few questions.... and then we get to the meat... the good stuff. But first I have to go back a little bit.

You see, a few years ago we had a kid in the neighborhood who was an acquaintance... we'll call him Michael. He walked by a lot and hardly came in, I gave him a few rides places but kept my distance... his ankle bracelet issued by the Oklahoma Department of Corrections was quite a deterrent to anyone getting to know him too well. Fast forward to two weeks ago.. we hadn't seen or heard from Michael in about 3-4 years. In he walks to Rock Island with a big grin on his face. Last we saw of him he was a prepubescent teen standing about 5 feet tall and weighing less than a hundred pounds. Now he's a man well over 6 feet. He didn't tell us much about where he had been and what he had been up to, but he made a point to tell me many times that he specifically came to Rock Island to get his life straight and stay out of trouble. Now we can go back to last Thursday.

I watched Michael the entire bible study as kids asked questions and he didn't say much, then in a pause I hear a question, "how can you believe in God when you can't see him and don't know he is there?" Crickets... crickets... crickets..... I throw out a few vacation bible school answers but know it isn't satisfying his real desire to know.. Luke says some things.. Ron does.. John does... but they are just words to him. He wants to know how there can be a God when all his brothers and sisters are spread out in foster homes all over Oklahoma and he has spent the majority of his childhood and life in jail. Then I hear from a voice, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." The kid reading the verse is a new kid who I'll call Nate.. we hadn't seen this kid since last summer and heard that he had spent the past year in jail... but he just happened to show up for bible study that day. After he reads the verse he begins to testify... and I mean TESTIFY about God's presence in His life and how he knows God has been there through abuse, jail cells, etc. He has the bible in his hand, he is waving it and he is preaching. And every kid in Rock Island is silent... dead silent. They are soaking up his every word like a sponge. I was in the corner just boohooing like a baby as this 17 year old preached about what REAL love and grace are. After he finished we didn't have much to say... so we just opened an invitation to kids who needed prayer. 5 kids stood up.. and these weren't kids that were our regulars.. they were newer kids that were rough and didn't seem like they could be cracked. They then stood still as other Rock Island kids stood around, laid hands on them and prayed over them. It was powerful. It was good.. and I was blessed.

Sometimes it's not the words of a pastor, priest or preacher that change a life, it's the words of someone who thinks they are ordinary empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Long time.. no see

Yes, I understand that we haven't blogged in over a month. I have received multiple emails and friendly reminders of that. We will try to be better, but I'm not making any promises. Here are a few little tidbits of our summer so far.

- We have a new intern named John from Dallas Theological Seminary. He's awesome and the kids love him. Hopefully he will blog soon.

- We went to camp 2 weeks ago and took 16 high school kids. It was just as life-changing as last year. (I'll put up pictures later)

- And lastly, here is our new summer schedule. We can always use extra volunteers or people that want to swing by and bring pizza or sandwiches for our lunches. I think the kids are getting tired of frozen corn dogs and burritos.

Summer Schedule
Monday
Mid/High Movie and Hangout 1:30-4:00

Tuesday
Mid/High Lunch and Work 1:00-3:00
Mid/High Work Out 3:00-4:00

Wednesday
Elementary 10:00-12:00
Mid/High Hangout 2:00-4:00
Mid/High Workout 4:00-5:00

Thursday
Mid/High Bible Study 12:00-1:00
Mid/High Hangout 1:00-2:30
Mid/High Work Out 2:30-4:00

I promise that we will try to write more very soon.

Futbol Fiesta

Today we wrapped up our second successful season of boys 15 and under soccer with what we like to call a "fiesta". Lots of authentic Mexican food, pizza, boys and several siblings and parents joined us at Rock Island to celebrate the end to a 6-2 season full of fun, team prayers, occasional practices and early Saturday mornings.

The team was entirely sponsored by an individual who offered financial support which allowed the boys to have their own jerseys (home and away), shin gaurds, soccer balls, practice cones, etc. The soccer team gives many of the boys a chance to play in an organized setting, receive coaching instruction, as well as behavioral instruction, and be with neighborhood friends, while also meeting new friends throughout the course of the season.

One of my favorite aspects of the soccer team is that it requires many of the boys to do something they otherwise would not be expected to do: be physically active on a regular basis and to be on some type of schedule. For the most part, the boys in this neighborhood are not necessarily expected to be timely to anything in particular(with the exception school and a few boys having to work). Because of this, most of the boys haven't come to appreciate the respect aspect that goes along with being on time or being where you say you will be, when you say you will be there. Being apart of the soccer team, along with field trips and the relatively new workout times, requires the boys to be on time, or be left behind.

With this being said, enjoy the pictures...

-Luke

Workout Videos...

Over the last several weeks the exercise/workout facility has been put to great use. We have girls and boys from the ages of 82-12 years old putting their bodies to work. On any given day 10-16 youth will exercise following a long days work at school. Most of them are eager to sweat, while several others were originally hesitant to look vulnerable in front of their peers. Over the last couple weeks the youth have been doing a variety of exercises to up their heart rate, burn some calories and learn some discipline through working out. It has been fun to see which kids would really take advantage of the opportunity to workout and apply themselves. Here are a few videos of what has been happening.
FYI, the last video is not a workout we have the kids doing, it was an obstacle course we made at the end of the workout to have a little fun. Anyone that can beat 3 seconds gets a years supply of bread from Cross and Crown.

Sunday nights

Sunday nights are special at the mission. We meet each Sunday night at 6 pm for a meal and worship service September through April. On our last Sunday night, (April 27) before our summer break, we watched this little slideshow to remind us of some awesome moments from the last year.

My Protector-- Chandy

This is a short little story... but I just couldn't pass up sharing it.

Last night we had our normal Sunday night worship experience at Cross & Crown. After worship I decided to have dinner with my parents. Instead of meeting them at the restaurant I just loaded up in the car with them and left my car at the mission. I didn't think much about it.

For some reason my phone was on silent during dinner, so I didn't notice that one of the Rock Island teens was repeatedly calling me. As I was riding back from dinner with my parents I happened to glance down at my phone and notice all the missed calls. Our dinner turned into quite long conversation and I didn't make it back to my car until a little after 9.

Once I got in my car and was pulling out of the neighborhood I returned the call. The teen was wondering where I was and why I had left my car at the mission. He informed me that I should never leave my car unattended at night in that neighborhood. And then the kicker..... he was worried about something happening to my car so he stayed and guarded it until his dad made him go home at 9.

In our neighborhood all the doors are chained at dark. The only people that go outside are up to no good and most likely heavily armed. But this 15 year old boy sat in the dark for over an hour just to make sure no one did anything to my car.

I know this story seems so insignificant and simple, but to me it spoke volumes. I'm not sure if I've ever had such a powerful gesture done for me.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Family being family!-- Chandy

I remember Saturdays growing up. They were always my favorite day of the week because it was game day. Whether teeball, soccer or basketball.. I was there. I played every sport that the city and local YMCA offered. I have so many great memories from those times. Our kids deserve those kinds of memories too. My dream for the kids at Rock Island is that they will reach a point where they can look back and think of happy times and exciting things they got to experience. I don't want them to look back on their lives and think of abuse, poverty or gangs. They need typical childhood memories just like a middle class white kid. So we're attempting to do that... one of those ways is our soccer team.

Picture this.. every Saturday morning Luke parks the Cross & Crown van on the corner of NW 9th and Mckinley. Teenage boys from all over the neighborhood flock from the streets and pile in. Then he loads them up and takes them to a local soccer field where they play other teams from all over the city. Our kids have the best uniforms in the league and it makes them very proud. They feel like somebody special, which they are. When they step on the field they are different kids than the beat up, depressed ones we often see in the neighborhood. They have confidence and that confidence helps them win games. They have been dominating the other teams in the league. Before every game they huddle up and Luke says a prayer over them. I always watch as fans and other teams stare in disbelief at this group of boys standing in the middle of the field praying. They are shocked. Our boys don't know it.. but that small act is very bold. They are standing up for their belief in God.

Some of the real ministry happens on the sidelines as the families from the neighborhood set out their lawn chairs and share snacks with each other. It's just family being family. I feel like a soccer mom as I jog up and down the sidelines taking pictures and yelling. I like this atmosphere. It's not charity work or community service. It's family being family... the way inner city ministry should be. I love Saturdays, I look forward to them again just like when I was a child. I hope the kids in our neighborhood feel the same way.

Here are some pics from last Saturday.

We've crossed into enemy territory!-- Chandy

This story all starts with a house. A drug house to be exact. It is located about 100 yards from Rock Island and is the main source for almost every dealer, addict and teenager in the neighborhood. I have spent several times just sitting outside staring at the house and praying for it, all the while watching literally dozens of people file in and out. It's always busy, whether it's 3:00 in the morning or noon. There are always people coming out of that house. And it makes me sick.. what originally made me sad has now turned into a little bit of anger. I have seen the owners of this house use kids as young as 8 years old to run drugs for them. I'm just fed up. As we were talking about that house this week, Luke said that he has actually prayed many times that the house would burn to the ground. Finally... after years of being untouched by the Oklahoma City Police, they busted the house a few weeks ago. We watched out the windows as drug task forces carried dozens of styrofoam ice chests as evidence. I felt like we finally had our peace. But we were wrong. Only a week later the drug running picked up again and it's like the bust never happened. I know that God has a detailed plan of what is going to happen with that house, but I just wish I knew what it was. I will wait... because I know his timing is perfect.

The people who live in that house have never come over to Cross and Crown. Apparently they have been doing well enough financially that they haven't needed any of our services. But God's plan was put into motion when the house was busted. They lost ALOT of money! That is why on Wednesday, two of the inhabitants actually came over and signed the list to get supplies from our food pantry. The second I looked out the window and saw them walking up, I knew something good was going to happen. The two that came over were a mother and daughter pair. The mother is the boss and you can tell by looking at her that she has it all together. She is clean and well kept, it's obvious she only deals and doesn't abuse. But then there is her daughter, who has obviously been using everything that comes through the house. Her teeth are all rotted out, her body is covered in soars and she doesn't even have the strength to hold her own head up. She can barely walk and sort of shuffles her feet, she is on the verge of death. I'm not sure how old she is... she looks to be about 50, but most likely she is close to my age of 24.

They signed our food list at 9:00 am and when it was time to open the doors at 11:00, only the daughter showed back up. Again, all part of God's plan. Just a side note about our food pantry, every one that comes for our services must first go through the "prayer room" where they meet with a prayer counselor to pray about their needs. We'll call the daughter "Pam". When it was Pam's turn to go into the prayer room she sat down with one of our very special counselors, Don (and his sidekick Jacob). I have a feeling that had she not sat down with Don, none of this would have ever happened. I don't know many details about their conversation, but I do know that about 20 minutes after that, I was helping Jacob get the baptistry filled up. "Pam" had decided to accept Christ and wanted to be baptized. I can't really explain the sight of seeing her crawl into the baptistry, except that she basically had to be lifted and set in. Once she was sitting in the water, she actually had to lay her head on the side so that she didn't tip over. Don said a few words and asked her to tell everyone why she wanted to accept Jesus and be baptized and her specific slurred words were, "I want Satan to leave me alone".

One person made the comment, "she is so out of it, do you think she even knows what she is doing?" She knew... the way I looked at it is that on Wednesday she could have laid in that house in her drugged up state and never left, but she chose to cross the street and accept Christ. We are going to take advantage of that.

"Pam" may not ever get clean or stop dealing drugs but I do know one thing, she is covered in the Holy Spirit and when she walked back into that demon-filled house on Wednesday, all the evil shuddered in fear, because the spirt of Jesus Christ is there now. God has done something that we didn't even think to pray for, he has implanted himself in the middle of that house. I can't wait to sit and watch and pray for that house now, because I know that the Lord is at work in there and is shaking things up. To him be all the glory!

I was hungry and you gave me something to eat.-- Chandy

This week was a blast with the kids.. it started out with some regular hang out days at Rock Island and ended with a beautiful day at the zoo and competitive game of bowling today.

The zoo was amazing yesterday. It was perfect weather and the elementary kids were so excited. We took exactly 30 kids and about 25 of them had never been to the zoo before. It was so fun to witness each of them get so excited to see elephants, tigers and giraffes for the first time. The highlight of the day were the gorillas. They have so much personality and put on quite the show for us. One of the little 4 year old boys in my group said he wanted to take one home to be his friend.

Today was bowling.. we loaded up 20 middle school/high school kids and headed for a Mcdonalds lunch before hitting the lanes. And then the highlight of my day happened...

In the midst of the hustle and bustle at McDonalds with 20 kids ordering value meals, we some how got away with an extra Big Mac. I was about to throw it away when one of the boys, "Damien", chimed up, "I'll take it". I assumed he was really hungry and didn't think anything of it. After eating we all loaded up to head to the bowling alley. Luke was driving the van and I was driving my car. Damien was riding with me. As we were driving along to the bowling alley he yelled from the back seat, "Pull Over". I asked him why and he said that he had to do something. So I found a side street and pulled over. He hopped out with another one of the boys, "Jose" (who is very hard core and hard to reach), and went sprinting in the other direction. At this point I'm kind of panicked about what is going on. But as I glance in my rearview mirrow I realize that Damien has the Big Mac in his hand and Jose is holding an unopened Pepsi that he found in my back seat. Then I look at the target they are running for... a homeless man crouched in the bushes. I watch as they crouch down to his level, exchange a few words and hand him the hamburger and drink. Then I see a big grin and they shake his hand and come joggin back to the car. As soon as they got back in the car they said, "we made sure and said God bless you!". I was so proud of them. If you saw these two boys walking down the street you might assume they were running drugs or headed to hang out with their gang friends... but these two boys were headed down the side of the road to give something to eat to someone hungry.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." - Matthew 25:35-36

train a child - Luke

This past Monday at our elementary, after-school program I had a small glimpse of what our future may hold.

Ron, Chandy and I have had several discussions about how awesome it would be to have a worship time with our youth. We dream of starting our Thursday night Bible study with a 20-30 minute worship time. But, we have to deal with the reality that these kids have no idea what worship looks like. There are so many elements to worship that we know and have learned over the years that these kids haven't been exposed to. Alot of us take for granted our church-going upbringing. Regardless of what congregation, denomination or location we have attended in the past, we have learned, on one level or another, what "happens" during worship. Even with the upbringing that I was given there were certain modes of expression, action and qualities to worship that I wasn't exposed to until my post high-school/post college career. These kids have NO idea. (On top of all this, they don't know any songs, which is changing.)

What these kids know is they have to uphold their hard appearance, their cool reputation and at all costs retain all levels of respect from the other kids. As most of us know, with worship, there is a level of vulnerability. You have to put yourself aside. A primary action during worship is humbling oneself or making ourselves less so that we can give God praise as the #1 that He is. So, I say all of this just to show why we have struggled in the past with implementing a time of worship with our youth.

This past Christmas our elementary kids, under the guidance of Chandy, preformed a Christmas program. They dressed in costumes, ranging from a wise man to baby Jesus, sang 2-3 songs, read the birth of Jesus and two of the girls from the neighborhood put on a singing/dancing performance of a lifetime. This Easter the kids will be doing something similar. Over the last 3-4 weeks during the elementary, after-school time the kids have been practicing. Following a grueling 30 minute homework period and a small snack the kids gather around in a circle and practice for their upcoming performance by singing. The kids will be singing the chorus of "Savior, He Can Move the Mountains", with a worship group on Easter Sunday. Chandy started off by singing the first couple lines of the song to the kids and they would repeat her. After several weeks of practice the kids have the song down to a T.

This past Monday, after the kids proved they could sing the song in its' entirety, Chandy played a cd for the kids to listen and sing along with. The song was lead by a worship group performing the song they had been practicing. It was chilling. It was so cool to be able to sit there and imagine 5-10 years down the road when these kids are 11-17 years old and we are having a time of worship with them. There we were in the middle of Rock Island with 25 children singing a worship song. I tried to imagine our older kids doing the exact same thing and it was just really hard to imagine. Not to say that I am writing the older kids off for ever having a time of worship (let me add that some of our youth did experience a time of worship at a camp we attended last summer), but that it is so much more difficult to teach and train the kids once they pass a certain age or maturity level (revolutionary thought by me, huh?) What an incredible insight God had and gave us before we even existed...

Proverbs 22:6 -
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

It is going to be an awesome experience the day we are able to have a time of worship lead by our youth.

Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

Chorus: Kids part
Savior, He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, Author of Salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Bridge:
Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory of the risen King, Jesus

Scary Exteriors, Beautiful Interiors-- Chandy

I would say that frontline/inner-city ministry is one filled with lots of loss. Although we are beginning to get used to the overdoses, homeless freezing to death and stabbings, it doesn't make things hurt any less. When it comes to the homeless, it's sad to say that we might be their only accountability to still being alive. I've mentioned before that when one of our regulars doesn't show up for a few days, we really start to worry and even might go looking for them in alleys and abandoned houses. Here is just a short recap of 4 people in our staff prayer time this morning, I felt a lot of loss today. Pray for them too.

- Anthony- A homeless man we have known for a number of years. He and his girlfriend, Lily, usually stop in for some food or to use the phone about once a week. I've heard stories of fights he's been in and how mean of a man he is. I've never seen that side of him. We heard last night that he is in the hospital in a coma from getting beat up really bad. There is a good chance he won't make it.

- John- We call him John the Baptist. He is such a precious servant. He comes in every day and does fix-it kind of chores all around the mission. His years of addiction and homelessness have left him pretty rough looking, but he is such a beautiful soul. He sleeps under one of our houses but we haven't seen him since last Thursday and that worries us a lot.

- Lori- A former (and maybe non-former) homeless, prostitute. A few months ago she came in and gave a wallet-sized photo of herself to Luke. On the back she wrote, "thanks for the prayers". She died this weekend of a probable overdose.

- Michael- A homeless man who played college basketball at Arkansas-Pine Bluff. He has a special friendship with Luke. For the past year he has come every day. Usually with some request written on a small notecard. At one point he was actually pen pals with Luke's grandma so that he would have someone to talk to. For the past month or so Luke has been giving him candles everyday to burn overnight to keep his "hole" warm that he sleeps in. He even uses us as his own safety-deposit box. Whenever he has anything of worth he brings it to us to keep safe. We haven't seen him in about 3 weeks now. We don't know who to ask, because he has not one single friend or family member. Luke's been checking the obituaries.

I don't share all of that to make people sad who read this. I share it to put names with faces of people you might see sleeping in an alley or abandoned building. I share that to make sure we all remember that those scary exteriors often have beautiful interiors.

"The right thing to do"-- Chandy

This week has been absolutely crazy for all of us. Without getting into too many details quite yet, it looks as if one or more of the staff members could be adding children to their households permanently. I really feel like we are at a time right now when we've got to DO what we SAY. I know that if I truly believe all the things I blog about then I must act. Sometimes there is a struggle between reason/logic and "the right thing to do". For my own personal life... I pray that "the right thing to do" always wins out. I think being able to FEEL if something is right or wrong is evidence of spiritual discernment. Some people may call me crazy... but aren't we called as Christians to look crazy sometimes. Look at the disciples.. a lot of people back in the day thought they were insane. So I leave this short blog with two great quotes and a scripture.

- "Suffering isn't hard to come by, it's a prouct of sacrifice." (J. Paravane)


- "It is very important for us to realize that love, to be true, has to hurt. I must be willing to give whatever it takes not to harm other people and, in fact, to do good to them. This requires that I am willing to give until it hurts. Otherwise there is not true love in me, and I bring injustice, not peace, to those around me." (Mother Teresa)


- "Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world." (James 1:26-27 The Message)