Update

I have dreams of returning to blogging when I have more stories to share. So I'm not going to abandon my blog just yet.

The past few weeks have been interesting. I've been on the job search like crazy and haven't had any luck. It started out as a fun search to see what I wanted to be when I grow up. Now it's gotten to the point to where I am just wondering when I might see a paycheck in the future. I've come to realize that a job search isn't about looking on monster.com or sending your resume in to headhunters. It's all about who you know. Anyone got any ideas?!?!

I can't stay away from the kids. Sunday nights at Cross & Crown have started back so I do go to the worship service. Took a couple of kiddos to go see High School Musical on Ice. Had dinner at some houses of neighborhood families. Yesterday took a kid shopping that was embarrassed to go to school cause nothing fit. I talk to a lot of them on the phone. I'm so lucky that I still get to be a big part of the kids lives.

That's my update... more later I hope.

I stay the same.

I've just returned from a long journey. 19 days to be exact. I haven't found a job yet... so as I stayed here in Oklahoma City I was going stir crazy. I had to get away because every spare moment I've had I have wanted to hop in my car and drive down to the neighborhood, check on my kids and make sure they are okay. Yes... I still call them "my kids". They will always be my kids, even when they are old.

I told myself that when I got back here I would be rid of any bitterness and resentment I had before I left. So I spent 19 days wondering around: going to the beach, riding a bike, reading LOTS of books and just being with God. Asking him what I do next. I have found my identity for my entire adult life in my Rock Island kids, in people and relationships tied up in the neighborhood. Now that the net has fallen out from under me, who am I?

After 19 days of time figuring out who I want to be I finally figured it out. I'm who I was 19 days ago. An "ordinary radical". I don't like to follow the rules, I'm ridiculously opinionated about anyone with an opposing view than me on immigration, I believe EVERY KID is worth the effort and that none should fall through the cracks, I believe working in the inner city isn't a 9-5 job, it's a lifestyle (some people haven't figured that out), and I sin and make mistakes every day but my relationship with my God is extremely intimate and top priority.

I'm still me. I may take a job that pays the bills and I will probably even like the job. But my kids will always be where my heart is and I don't want anyone to doubt that. I love that every night before I go to bed I will usually get 3-4 text messages from different kids asking how my day went and if I have a new job yet. I love that I got a call yesterday from one of my kids in Mexico letting me know he's safe and coming home, because he knew I would worry. It took me 19 days to realize that jobs change, but I stay the same.

Take me out to the ball game!

It just occurred to me that I never blogged about my last event with my kids. It happened 3 Saturdays ago and at the end of the day I texted Luke and said, "that might have been the most fun I have had with the RI kids in the past 6 years". I'll explain.

I don't know if I've ever blogged about my brother. He's 21 years old and just amazing. He and I are different in a lot of ways. He's a genius, presidential scholar and straight A student. He is super organized and really into numbers, the stock market and math. He is analytical, thinks through things before he acts and is just all around very disciplined and responsible. I'm scatter-brained at times. I can't do long division but in the past 24 hours I have read 374 pages. I'm emotional and impulsive. As different as we are, we have one thing in common... we love inner city ministry and the kids at Rock Island.

My brother is a busy guy and he doesn't have much time to get down to Cross & Crown. He plays college baseball at Northwood University in Dallas, so I called him a few months ago and asked if he might be interested in doing a one day baseball clinic for the Rock Island boys. From that moment on, he was hooked. He was so excited to use one of his gifts to spend time with the kids. Now when I say my brother is organized, it's an understatement. He rounded up donors and all kinds of things to make the day possible. He also recruited about 10 other college players that he knew to help coach at the clinic.

Every one of the 19 boys got a black baseball hat that said RI (for Rock Island), a water bottle and a used glove the second they entered the field. They were so excited (Even though it was around 105 degrees). In the morning they were split into stations and went through all the different stations to learn skills. Of the 19, only about 5 had ever thrown a baseball. At lunch time we cooked out hot dogs and the kids took turns taking batting practice and watching the coaches hit home runs. After lunch was the highlight of the day, the game. Every kid got a chance to hit and I was sooooooooo proud of them. After the game they practiced sliding on the slip-n-slide.

The thing that was the most amazing were the smiles of every single one of the boys. They were all grinning ear to ear all day. Not one single boy complained about the heat. They were just having fun, not thinking about life back home. At the end of the day they had an awards ceremony and handed out awards for sportsmanship, hustle, etc. BUT the highlight was the big surprise. The kids had been asking all day if they could keep the used gloves. When we told them that we had to save them for camp next year they were BUMMED. But, what they didn't know was that the bank my brother works at (Citizen's Bank of Edmond) had donated a brand new glove for every kid at camp to go home with. They each went home with a new glove and new baseball. They were so excited.. just jumping around and grinning. The most rewarding part was the drive home. I was exhausted and assumed the kids were too. They had been outside playing baseball in the heat for 8 hours. But as we pulled up to Rock Island one of them yelled, "lets go to park for a pickup game".. they all shouted and sprinted off. Many of the kids told me it was the best day they had ever had. I was blessed to get to witness it.

P.S. One mom even told me that her son has been sleeping with his glove and ball every night. :)

Here's a video from the exciting day.

My uncle Scott.

Tonight something really amazing happened...but in order for you to understand how amazing it was.. I must take you back.

I have an uncle... his name is Scott. I remember praying for my uncle from the time I was a little child. ALWAYS. It was one of the automatics.. "Dear God, thank you for this day, thank you for my family, thank you for Jesus, please help uncle Scott..." My uncle had an alcohol problem. A serious alcohol problem. If you've ever had a loved one living addiction you know that you can't make the decision for them, they have to make it for themselves.. the hardest part was seeing how much my mom hurt for her brother. I remember writing him letters telling him how much I was praying for him. He was slowly drinking himself to death and didn't seem to care. It was painful to watch.

After 20 years of prayer and a divine intervention... my uncle decided to get help. When he decided to get help he called my mom. It took a few times for Scott to finally make the commitment, but when he did, Cross & Crown helped him pick up the pieces and get the help he needed. It has been amazing to watch the transformation in my uncle over the past 3 years. He has dedicated his life to Christ and is a completely new man. I'm so proud of him.

Tonight I saw the true evidence of his transformation and I saw his true heart. His pure heart. Some of my family was in town so we all went to my parents house for a cook-out. The doorbell rang and I went to open it. There at the door was my uncle Scott. I hadn't seen him since I resigned from my job. He knows how much I loved it and how hard this is for me. He just gave me the biggest hug and held on. Then the words came out of his mouth, "All these years you have been praying for me, now it's my time to pray for you" It's hard for me to imagine these words coming out of his mouth 5 years ago. But now it's so good to hear those words coming from him.

During this time in my life Scott is a constant reminder that God is a restorer of broken relationships, a mender of hurting hearts and a builder of torn down lives. I'm so happy to be a follower.

Here is a short video of Scott sharing his testimony months ago.

Give me time.

I'm working on what I'm going to blog about on here. So please give me some time. I think the thing that has made the blog so appealing in the past has been that it has been stories of God's presence in the city.. it's hasn't been "stories of Chandy's life and journey...the diary of Chandy...all about Chandy" or at least I hope not. Again...it's stories of God revealing himself in the most awesome ways. I'm trying to find ways to write about that in everyday life in the suburbs, not just working full-time in the hood. Who knows... next time I write I might just be living in the hood. So give me time.. I'll figure out my new perspective.

In the meantime I'm thinking about the kids every moment of every day. Wondering what they're doing, what they're eating, if they're staying out of trouble, if they are happy or sad. I talked to two of my kids on the phone last night and they were updating me on all the latest news. I love those kids.

New Cross & Crown Blog

FYI.... After much consideration I'm going to keep this blog. It's been such a good diary for me of the past 2 years.

If you want to read about more Cross & Crown stuff from Luke and Ron you can go to...

www.lukesfoodforthought.blogspot.com

A new chapter in my story.

I've been wondering for about a week how I am going to write this blog...but I've come to the conclusion that no matter how much I think and pray about it, these words will not be easy. I'll cry as I type this...

I remember when I started at Cross and Crown a little over two years ago. I was a week out off college, living with my parents and confused about my future. I had a boyfriend who I thought I might marry and an exciting future ahead of me. I didn't know much, but I knew that I loved the kids in the neighborhood more than anything in the world and I had full intentions of being with them FOREVER.

Things have changed. I'm two years out of college, living on my own, broke up with the boyfriend........ AND....... I have been facing the hardest decision of my life for months now. Tomorrow I will meet with all my precious children and tell them that last week I turned my letter of resignation in at Cross & Crown. This week will be my last week there with them. How do I explain to them that I did promise I would be there forever but things have changed? I see adults promise those kids the world all the time and not follow through. I don't want to be one of those people. How do I explain to them that the last thing in the world I want to do is leave, but I just am? Where do I go from here?

I've been sick about this for some time now. No sleep and little food. (The only benefit of it all is the weight loss. Ha!) I don't have a safety net. I quit a job with no where to go and a mortgage and students loan payments and on and on. What am I thinking?

Here it is... I'm thinking that God knows how much I love every little soul in the C&C neighborhood. He knows that I would give my life for any one of those kids. My ministry won't stop now. I might not be lucky enough to have it as my full time job, but I will not stop spending time with those kids, having them at my house, and praying for them every day. No person can stop me from that. And when it comes to my finances I'm thinking that GOD IS GOOD. If I didn't trust Him in this storm then all the blogs, prayers and time with those kids meant nothing. This is my chance to live my life as an example and show them what it means to live out all the things I've been preaching to them. My God is "MIGHTY TO SAVE".


"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Chandy